Why Wives Really Nag Their Husbands

I have a relationship revelation for you that I think you might enjoy. Yes today I am mythbusting, exposing the truth for all you ladies out there who have ever wagged their fingers at their respective other because of something they haven’t done. You know what I’m talking about don’t you? It’s the bedroom that was supposed to be painted six months ago, it’s that new blind that has been sitting under the stairs for weeks now and is showing no signs of ever coming out of the box. It’s those Christmas lights that are still hanging on the tree in your front garden in March. Which leaves you in a very frustrated mood at times because someone has promised you, assured you, that these jobs will be done yet somehow they never do. As a result (and through no fault of your own), you begin to turn into a rather unpleasant version of yourself, someone who I’m sure you’d rather not be, only let’s face it, you haven’t really been left with a choice. You have now turned into what is commonly referred to as ‘the nag’.

What Is A Nag Anyway?

Firstly, not the nicest of words. In fact it’s a pretty rotten word that I think should be banned from the english language. Dictionary.com defines nag as “to annoy by persistent fault finding, complaints or demands”. Oxforddictionary.com defines it as “to keep complaining to somebody about their behaviour or to keep asking them to do something”.

“To annoy”? Really? I’m not sure if my objective when nagging my husband is to annoy him (I could be wrong), that just seems to be an unfortunate consequence of our conversation. He probably does get fed up of my persistent complaining but I only ‘find fault’ because there was a fault there to begin with. There are so many things around our house that he promises to do but never actually gets around to, at least not within a six month period. Which brings me back to what is at the very heart of this conversation. If you are the one who is constantly complaining to their partner because of something they haven’t done, you will inevitably become looked upon as ‘the nag’, but here’s the thing – if you just did what you promised to do in the first place then we wouldn’t have to complain!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can’t win

So you’re in a situation where your husband/partner has promised to do something but hasn’t actually done anything yet. In my house at the moment, it is the attic. We have been talking for months and months about starting an attic conversion because we have two daughters who are sharing a small bedroom and are constantly at each other’s throats. For all of our sakes, they need separating.

Here is a typical conversation:

Day 1 (My husband has promised for the 1500th time that he will make some calls to try and find a carpenter)

Me: “So did you get to make any calls today?”

Husband: “No sorry, I was so busy today that I didn’t get around to it”.

Day 2

Me: “Did you manage to call any carpenters today then?”

Husband: “Oh no I forgot. I must do that later”.

Day 4 (He got the number for a carpenter)

Me: “So have you called the carpenter yet?”

Husband: “Er yeah, I gave him a call but there was no answer”.

Me: “Okay…..?” (with expectant look).

Husband: “So I’ll try calling back later”.

Day 27

Me: “Have you reached him yet??”

Husband: “No, I left a message but he never called back so I’ll try calling again this afternoon”.

This has been going on for at least eight months.

 

Why don’t you just do it yourself then?

Yes you might have asked yourself that question but I can easily provide you with the answer –  because I don’t want to. I have four children to look after, including twins. And yes I know he’s busy but right now I’m busier. Also for the sake of my own mental health I am not going down the road of doing the things that he has promised to do along with everything else that I do in the day. If I start doing that then I might just go completely stark raving bonkers. It’s giving too much of myself away. I can’t do it. So for now I think I will have to stick with being the aforementioned ‘nag’, as much as I deplore the wretched word.

So if you are in a similar situation dear reader, try and keep your cool. Who knows, it might all work out in the end. And in the meantime, try not to nag to much. Nobody likes a nag…